


"Go sit on a cactus."

by WhisperingMagpie



Series: Prompts [19]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 08:22:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14076834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie/pseuds/WhisperingMagpie
Summary: In which Thor meets Castiel, and discusses awkward things humans say.





	"Go sit on a cactus."

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dreamer_of_Improbable_Dreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamer_of_Improbable_Dreams/gifts).



Castiel perched on a ledge outside of the Avengers tower, invisible to the inhabitants. He found this group of people intriguing. They called themselves heroes, which was debatable. 

He'd been sent to find out why there had been so much damage to the city of New York in the past few years. There had been strange readings at first, and then an alien race attacked. These Avengers were able to fight it off, but in the process, they caused so much unnessecary damage that it would take the city years to recover, maybe decades. Heaven should have stepped in, with the case of an extraterrestrial battle.

When Castiel followed them back to thier base, he found that they acted more like children, bickering over the last slice of pizza or the televison remote. It was no wonder they were so reckless, when they could barely get along. Yet, somehow, they still managed to look heroic and honorable on the battlefield. He didn't understand them at all.

Tonight was one of those nights, it seemed, where they were going to argue over every trivial little thing.

“Oh, go sit on a cactus, you self righteous old prick,” the one named Clint said as he flicked a piece of popcorn at Steve.

Castiel rolled his eyes. They had the most nonsensical insults. He wasn't sure that even counted as an insult.

Steve jumped in surprise and brought up a pillow to block future assaults.

Tony crept up behind him, whispering in his ear too quietly for the other humans to hear, but Castiel made out something about him having something better for Steve to sit on. Steve's face went bright red and he clutched the pillow more tightly until it ripped and stuffing popped out the side.

Before long, the entire team was engaging in a food fight and shouting childish insults. All except the Asgardian.

Thor slunk away, dodging a shower of snackfoods, and cries of, “Come on, Thor! Where you going?”

Thor stepped outside onto the deck, and stood leaning against the railing, looking up at the starry night sky. Clouds were slowly starting to roll in, and he frowned. He preferred not to engage in these petty fights, especially because they tended to devolve into using slang words or phrases he didn't understand.

“I'm not sure why sitting on a cactus is a considered a funny retort,” Castiel said right next to the Asgardian, shimmering into view. 

Thor nearly jumped right off the balcony, hand raised to summon his hammer if necessary as he turned to stare at the male in a trenchcoat who had somehow managed to climb the Avengers tower undetected.

Castiel sighed. “Put your hand down, Thor. I'm an angel. I'm not here to cause harm, just to watch. My name is Castiel.” 

Thor's eyes narrowed for a moment, and he slowly began to relax. “I haven't met an angel before. Of Midgard's Christian mythology?”

“Correct.” Castiel followed Thor's gaze back inside at the others, who were still arguing good-naturedly. “Only you can see me. I can control it.”

Thor still looked a little hesitant. There was a definite energy coming from this so-called angel, but being something new to him, he wasn't sure how much to trust Castiel.

“Need more proof?”

Thor slowly shook his head, his attention turning back towards the view overlooking the city so as to avoid suspicion of his teammates.

“No. I can sense that you are a being of great power, but I can also defend myself if needed. You know my name, so you must know what I am capable of.”

“Indeed,” Castiel agreed.

After a few moments of silence, Castiel joining him in watching the flickering lights of the city, Thor admitted, “I don't even know what a cactus is.”

“It's a type of prickly plant that lives in the desert. Common in the hotter areas.” Castiel explained.

“Like where Jane lives,” Thor mused, wondering if he'd seen one when he first arrived on Midgard. If he had, it hadn't been important at the time.

Castiel tilted his head in curiosity. This Jane seemed to be a person of interest to Thor. 

“If I remember correctly, it was called New Mexico,” Thor added.

Castiel nodded. “Yes. They very likely grew there.”

“For a non-human species, you seem to know a lot about this planet.” 

“It's my job to observe. Angels as a whole have been watching humanity since its creation. Watched it become great, and will continue to watch as it goes downhill.”

Thor looked up for a moment, frowning. It sounded depressing, being unable to interact with the world, only watching. “Why are you here?”

“Heaven was curious about Earth's 'Mightiest Heroes' ”, Castiel emphasized with air quotes.

“What have you discovered?” Thor asked.

“We're unsure, given the state of the city after the recent battle.”

Thor grimaced guiltily.

Castiel looked away suddenly, as if listening to something. “I must go. Just know that we'll be watching.” And then he disappearedwith a sound like fluttering wings.

Thor snorted. These angels, watchers or protectors of Earth, sounded a lot like S.H.I.E.L.D.


End file.
